Originally published on The Milk Bar Mag

April is not just a famous TV reporter primarily known for amply filling a yellow leather jumpsuit and occasionally helping the Ninja Turtles get the drop on Shredder. April is also the month when the sun continues shining but the air is chilled and we lose our beloved daylight savings. While we may lose the ability to leave work when it’s light, we’ve gained more lit events than April O’Neil could report on in a thirty minute broadcast.

The first event worth ditching a pepperoni pizza for features two writers whose linguistic abilities are sharper than Splinter’s mind. On April 4 skate on down to the Bella Union Bar in Trades Hall (54 Victoria St, Carlton) at 7.30pm for Two Sides of the Story: Memoir, featuring Kate Holden and David Astle. While this event is booked out, it’s worth using your ninja skills to sneak past the imperceptive Foot Clan soldier dozing on the door.

Kate Holden

As last month was for the ladies, April swings an intellectual roundhouse aimed at notions of Australian masculinity with So Who the Bloody Hell Are We?: The Sentimental Bloke at the Wheeler Centre (176 Lt. Lonsdale St, Melbourne) on April 11 at 6.15pm. If your pomo inclinations are unsatisfied by me continually referencing an 80′s cartoon, then the launch of David Foster Wallace’s The Pale King at the Wheeler on April 20, featuring readings and reminiscing, should satiate you.

On the other side of the bridge The Williamstown Literary Festival kicks off from April 29 to May 1. A weekend jam-packed with workshops and lectures featuring the likes of Steven Amsterdam, Tom Trumble and Corrine Grant to name just a few, there’s more variety than a four-corner pizza pie. Be your own sensei and check out the full program at www.willylitfest.org.au.

If you’re having trouble deciding between being a party-animal like Michelangelo or a cerebral powerhouse like Donatello, be both at The Lifted Brow #9 launch at The Worker’s Club (51 Brunswick St, Fitzroy) on Friday April 8 at 8pm. With Otouto, Tantrums, Hammocks and Honey & Caught Ship performing, you’ll be bebobbing and rocking steady (get it?) in no time.

Another journal launch on this month is Kill Your Darlings #5 on Thursday April 7 at the Pumphouse Hotel (128 Nicholson St, Fitzroy). Not just any old launch, the KYD team will be staging trivia between 6.00pm – 9.00pm.

Finally, if you’re sick of being the literary world’s unappreciated loner like Raphael, there are two opportunities to get your work published beginning this month. From April 17 to June 30 Page Seventeen are open for submissions, while Sleepers Publishing are accepting contributions for the next Almanac until July 1. Both are as committed to getting unpublished writers out there as Leonardo was to blue bandanas.

Cowabunga, dudes!